For the majority of my life, I had no framework for the
interrelation of sexuality and spirituality. In my religious circles,
sex was what everybody thought about, but nobody talked about.
I hope this book will start conversations. We Americans generally stink at controversial discussions and the subject of sacred sexuality is more than worthy of honest and open debate. Sex is at the heart of almost everything we do as human beings, and if it truly is the essence of existence, then it bears thoughtful and loving consideration among those of us who call ourselves spiritual.
Some people will undoubtedly find portions of this book shocking. Others will think it is tame. It is in no way intended to be a sex manual or a theological treatise. My wish is that it will cause all of us to examine closely our personal longings, our marriages, our relationships, and what we teach our children about sex. Perhaps it’s time to utilize the Bible as our sex manual. And for those aspects where it is silent, we then depend on an open dialogue with those we trust.
My candid conversations with young men I mentor, my own struggles, the shocking results of our online survey, and the inordinate amount of moral dismissals in our churches provided me the incentive to write this book. I have seen wives leave their husbands because of pornography addictions and marriages fall apart due to misplaced affections. Throughout my life, I have seen religion provide judgment instead of grace in almost every situation.
Of course, there are extreme cases of sexual dysfunction that need to be dealt with. Seeing a qualified sex therapist, psychiatrist or licensed marriage counselor is one of the most spiritually mature actions we can take in cases of severe problems.
But I can’t help but think that if we really believed our misplaced sexual longings were an indication of a desperate search for God and the original experiences of the garden, many of us would find redemption instead of condemnation. That’s what I’ve been given. And I’m thankful.
If you get nothing else from this message, know that this book is about redemption. I suppose you could say it is controversially redemptive. I have realized through the years that it takes shaking up the status quo to get anything accomplished. So be it.
